How to Work at a Magazine

We pool our collective experience to bring you some tried and true advice about how to kick your boot through the glass door of corporate media, and how to keep your morale high once you get there (Part II, where we deal with this, TK).

1. Your job will not be glamorous. Like, at all. You've seen The
Devil Wears Prada, Ugly Betty, Suddenly Susan, Spiderman, Just Shoot Me, The Fashionista Diaries. Your job will not be like any of these movies/ tv shows. You will sit in a cubicle for a very long time every day. You will read the internet, and maybe ichat. You will have minimal person to person contact with cool office co-workers. Your contact will generally be limited to people who are angry / stressed / looking for something / want something from you. There may be a time when you go out for drinks with co-workers after a big close. You will probably talk about work the whole time, then get wasted. If you think your life will be glamorous, I advise you to prepare yourself for disappointment. You will be in good company.

2. Find the free table. The flip side to the lack of glamor is an abundance of free swag. When I worked at a fancy women's magazine, I told myself that I may be stuck here till 11pm every night, but I'm not going home empty-handed. I now have $500-$1000 worth of beauty products in my bathroom, countless self-help books, free shoes, free bags, free cabs, free passes, free everything. My soul can be bought.

3. Don't burn any bridges: the revolving door is always spinning. After 3-6 months in the publishing industry, one quickly realizes that cast members come and go at an alarming frequency. Today, your intern may quit to work at a neighboring publication. Tomorrow, she may be your boss. Do not underestimate the network. Be nice to everyone, they will return the favor. At the end of the day, magazine people generally suck, but they all pretend to like each other anyway. Why can't you?

4. It's all about the ego: who has it, who wants it. Flaunt it if you got it, or even if you don't. If you can persuade others that you know something they don't, you will be promoted. It doesn't matter who or what you know, it's like a warped version of The Game. Everything is a power struggle. Pretend that you know what you're talking about and people will believe that you do. Bragging counts more than hard work.

Janet Jackson, "Feedback"

Janet Jackson's take on multi-ethnic lovers.

Check it out, it's hottt.

note: better version of this song here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xou2BBOFxEs&feature=related

Full Women's Studies download here, now!

Tracks 1-20

Tracks 21-40

Tracks 41-51

Updated: Tracks 1 - 20 with a functional link

CUTE BAND BOY ALERT!!!

Hey Upper Eastsiders, Gossip Girl here.
Today a very special young RISD-alum walked into my office, and maybe into my heart!

He's a youthful 23 (though he looks like he could still be 18!), a recent graduate, and he works in my neighborhood. A cross between Nate from Gossip Girl and Ezra K. from Vampire Weekend, his young preppy dreamboat potential is thru the roof! Also, he accidentally emailed me once with a pdf of his student portfolio when he was looking for a job and he says he likes my work! Apparently we were LinkedIn friends until I cancelled my account, and he shows up on my Gchat buddy list. Thanks to my newfound interest in this young Southern soccer player / designer , I just may be planning a group lunch tour to his office.

Below, for your reading pleasure, young F.'s resume. I've highlighted some of his most salient qualities. Among them, the Brown University Men's Soccer Club. [REDACTED, I guess this is wrong.]

Death by Crap

Walking away from the fancy new espresso machine in the kitchen (indulging on my 5th cup of the day), I noticed a Cup-o-Noodle SOUPER MEAL container sitting at the top of the trash. The container was the size of half a honeydew and represented so much of what my company is—part “poor-me” teenage angst-esque bullshit, part I can’t afford better because I work here, part middle-of-the-road slow death hidden behind could-be-worse options. Somebody had scraped every dried carrot out of that sucker. And now, I was hoping, eating a fried Twinkie. I thought, nobody should be eating this crap. And I walked away, sad and with saccharin-laced caffeine coursing through my veins.

i like to move it, move it

btw, there are really only two ways to properly dance your butt off.

the butterfly...


and the running man...


you can pretty much rock these moves to any of the playlist songs--except maybe dionne (it's a bit of a stretch but it's totally doable...with the butterfly working slightly better than the running man). bring them back people. stay tuned. next week's featured dance move: the pop and lock.

Empowerment Zone II: Women's Studies playlist

Women's Studies is meant to be a resource, a place to go when you have nowhere left to turn. In these situations I find it's best to dance as hard as possible until you collapse, sweaty and smeared with eyeliner, onto your clothes-strewn sofa.

It is available here, in parts.

01 UNITY—Queen Latifah
02 Mr. Bigstuff—Jean Knight or Aretha Franklin
03 The Jump Off—Lil Kim
04 Lose Control—Missy Elliot
05 Milkshake (DJ Double D Remix)— Kelis
06 Giving Something He Can Feel—EnVogue
07 Papa Don't Preach—Madonna
08 Fantasy—Mariah Carey
09 BLINDFOLD ME —Kelis
10 Irreplaceable—Beyonce f/Ghostface
11 None Of Your Business—Salt and Pepper
12 9 to 5—Dolly Parton
13 9 to 5—Lady Sovereign
14 Just Fine—Mary J. Blige
15 No Scrubs—TLC
16 U Don't Know My Name (Main)—Alicia Keys
17 I Say A Little Prayer For You—Aretha Franklin
18 Do Right Woman, Do Right Man—Aretha Franklin
19 Walk On By Dionne Warwick
20 I Wanna Dance With Somebody Whitney Houston
21 Cornflake Girl—Tori Amos
22 Hollaback Girl—Gwen Stefani
23 Bossy—Kelis
24 One Minute Man f. Ludacris—Missy Elliot
25 Sunshowers (Diplo Mix)—M.I.A.
26 Push It—Salt and Pepper
27 Put It In Your Mouth—Akinyele
28 Girls, Girls, Girls—jay z
29 How Many Licks—Lil' Kim
30 Tush—Ghostface Killah ft. Missy Elliott
31 Tongue Song (Dirty)—Trina
32 Escapade—Janet Jackson
33 Umbrella - New Jay Radio Mix—Rhianna
34 My Neck My Back (dirty Version)—Khia
35 Suck My Dick—Lil Kim
36 shoop—Salt and Pepper
37 Love Bizarre—Prince & Sheila E.
38 You've Got the Love
39 Emotions (Neptunes Remix)—Destiny's Child
40 Doo Wop (That Thing)—Lauryn Hill
41 Love Me Or Hate Me Remix (Featuring Missy Elliott)—Lady Sovereign
42 Wait (The Whisper Song Girl Version)—Trina
43 Ladies Night—Lil' Kim, Missy Elliot, Angie Martinez, Da Brat
44 Let It Bump—Missy Elliott
45 How Will I Know—Whitney Houston
46 I'm Every Woman—Chaka Kahn
47 Erase You—ESG
48 Bingo (Diplo Mix)—M.I.A.
49 Rhythm Nation—Janet Jackson
50 Independent Woman Part I—Destiny's Child
51 Waterfalls—TLC

download tracks 1-5:

This new years hit me hard

These bruises are still visible ONE WEEK after New Year's Eve.