Mike Mills, Human

Humans Manifesto 03:

1. Be more positive.

2. Try to stop anthropomorphizing the animals I know, or at least do it less.

3. Play games that require abandon.

4. Get better at maintaining relationships with friends.

5. Look at how I'm not fully conscious of my real life, admit that I'm groping in the dark, overwhelmed by the consequences of my acts and that at every moment I'm faced with outcomes I did not intend.

http://www.humans.jp/blog/

Women's Studies addendum: Since You've Been Gone

How could we have forgotten about this one? Pop + empowerment, Kelly Clarkson, America's sweetheart. She is totally liberated and really rocking for the first time.

Oh, that Sassy

In seventh grade, Sassy mysteriously arrived in the mail, addressed to my great-grandmother who lived with us. I don't know where it came from, but that ghost subscription was perhaps the most important event of my teen years.

I studied it. I memorized every detail. How to get into Columbia. Who Thurston Moore was. Places in New York City to go vintage shopping. Why obsessing over your physical appearance and relationship status were unhealthy behaviors. How to start a rock band. Etc etc. When Sassy folded / was bought out by Peterson publishing, losing its indie status, I wrote the angriest letter of my life and canceled my subscription. I think I cried.

Looking back, one article perhaps remains the most influential piece of Sassy literature: "The Tormented Boy: An Ethnological Study." I loved it. I hung it up on my bedroom wall and memorized every characteristic of every type of sensitive guy they created: Disaffected Writer Boy, The Soulful Musician Boy... The point of this article was to point out types of guys to avoid. I think I took it the wrong way.

At least I'm not the only one: http://www.nerve.com/dispatches/jesella/cutebandalert/index.asp?page=3

This week's free table: 2/1

Vampire Weekend: Some Thoughts

On Wednesday night I saw Vampire Weekend for the first time at their second sold-out night at Bowery Ballroom. Perhaps at the peak of their hype cycle, they only released their first album this week, though I have been listening to them on a near-daily basis for the last three months. This is what I was thinking about when I watched them.

1. An ampitheater or stadium in July, get fucked up in the car, hemp necklace. On a summer night when you are 16 or even 19, this would be a night to remember. This could be the next Dave Matthews Band.

How to Work at a Magazine

We pool our collective experience to bring you some tried and true advice about how to kick your boot through the glass door of corporate media, and how to keep your morale high once you get there (Part II, where we deal with this, TK).

1. Your job will not be glamorous. Like, at all. You've seen The
Devil Wears Prada, Ugly Betty, Suddenly Susan, Spiderman, Just Shoot Me, The Fashionista Diaries. Your job will not be like any of these movies/ tv shows. You will sit in a cubicle for a very long time every day. You will read the internet, and maybe ichat. You will have minimal person to person contact with cool office co-workers. Your contact will generally be limited to people who are angry / stressed / looking for something / want something from you. There may be a time when you go out for drinks with co-workers after a big close. You will probably talk about work the whole time, then get wasted. If you think your life will be glamorous, I advise you to prepare yourself for disappointment. You will be in good company.

2. Find the free table. The flip side to the lack of glamor is an abundance of free swag. When I worked at a fancy women's magazine, I told myself that I may be stuck here till 11pm every night, but I'm not going home empty-handed. I now have $500-$1000 worth of beauty products in my bathroom, countless self-help books, free shoes, free bags, free cabs, free passes, free everything. My soul can be bought.

3. Don't burn any bridges: the revolving door is always spinning. After 3-6 months in the publishing industry, one quickly realizes that cast members come and go at an alarming frequency. Today, your intern may quit to work at a neighboring publication. Tomorrow, she may be your boss. Do not underestimate the network. Be nice to everyone, they will return the favor. At the end of the day, magazine people generally suck, but they all pretend to like each other anyway. Why can't you?

4. It's all about the ego: who has it, who wants it. Flaunt it if you got it, or even if you don't. If you can persuade others that you know something they don't, you will be promoted. It doesn't matter who or what you know, it's like a warped version of The Game. Everything is a power struggle. Pretend that you know what you're talking about and people will believe that you do. Bragging counts more than hard work.

Janet Jackson, "Feedback"

Janet Jackson's take on multi-ethnic lovers.

Check it out, it's hottt.

note: better version of this song here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xou2BBOFxEs&feature=related

Full Women's Studies download here, now!

Tracks 1-20

Tracks 21-40

Tracks 41-51

Updated: Tracks 1 - 20 with a functional link

CUTE BAND BOY ALERT!!!

Hey Upper Eastsiders, Gossip Girl here.
Today a very special young RISD-alum walked into my office, and maybe into my heart!

He's a youthful 23 (though he looks like he could still be 18!), a recent graduate, and he works in my neighborhood. A cross between Nate from Gossip Girl and Ezra K. from Vampire Weekend, his young preppy dreamboat potential is thru the roof! Also, he accidentally emailed me once with a pdf of his student portfolio when he was looking for a job and he says he likes my work! Apparently we were LinkedIn friends until I cancelled my account, and he shows up on my Gchat buddy list. Thanks to my newfound interest in this young Southern soccer player / designer , I just may be planning a group lunch tour to his office.

Below, for your reading pleasure, young F.'s resume. I've highlighted some of his most salient qualities. Among them, the Brown University Men's Soccer Club. [REDACTED, I guess this is wrong.]

Death by Crap

Walking away from the fancy new espresso machine in the kitchen (indulging on my 5th cup of the day), I noticed a Cup-o-Noodle SOUPER MEAL container sitting at the top of the trash. The container was the size of half a honeydew and represented so much of what my company is—part “poor-me” teenage angst-esque bullshit, part I can’t afford better because I work here, part middle-of-the-road slow death hidden behind could-be-worse options. Somebody had scraped every dried carrot out of that sucker. And now, I was hoping, eating a fried Twinkie. I thought, nobody should be eating this crap. And I walked away, sad and with saccharin-laced caffeine coursing through my veins.

i like to move it, move it

btw, there are really only two ways to properly dance your butt off.

the butterfly...


and the running man...


you can pretty much rock these moves to any of the playlist songs--except maybe dionne (it's a bit of a stretch but it's totally doable...with the butterfly working slightly better than the running man). bring them back people. stay tuned. next week's featured dance move: the pop and lock.

Empowerment Zone II: Women's Studies playlist

Women's Studies is meant to be a resource, a place to go when you have nowhere left to turn. In these situations I find it's best to dance as hard as possible until you collapse, sweaty and smeared with eyeliner, onto your clothes-strewn sofa.

It is available here, in parts.

01 UNITY—Queen Latifah
02 Mr. Bigstuff—Jean Knight or Aretha Franklin
03 The Jump Off—Lil Kim
04 Lose Control—Missy Elliot
05 Milkshake (DJ Double D Remix)— Kelis
06 Giving Something He Can Feel—EnVogue
07 Papa Don't Preach—Madonna
08 Fantasy—Mariah Carey
09 BLINDFOLD ME —Kelis
10 Irreplaceable—Beyonce f/Ghostface
11 None Of Your Business—Salt and Pepper
12 9 to 5—Dolly Parton
13 9 to 5—Lady Sovereign
14 Just Fine—Mary J. Blige
15 No Scrubs—TLC
16 U Don't Know My Name (Main)—Alicia Keys
17 I Say A Little Prayer For You—Aretha Franklin
18 Do Right Woman, Do Right Man—Aretha Franklin
19 Walk On By Dionne Warwick
20 I Wanna Dance With Somebody Whitney Houston
21 Cornflake Girl—Tori Amos
22 Hollaback Girl—Gwen Stefani
23 Bossy—Kelis
24 One Minute Man f. Ludacris—Missy Elliot
25 Sunshowers (Diplo Mix)—M.I.A.
26 Push It—Salt and Pepper
27 Put It In Your Mouth—Akinyele
28 Girls, Girls, Girls—jay z
29 How Many Licks—Lil' Kim
30 Tush—Ghostface Killah ft. Missy Elliott
31 Tongue Song (Dirty)—Trina
32 Escapade—Janet Jackson
33 Umbrella - New Jay Radio Mix—Rhianna
34 My Neck My Back (dirty Version)—Khia
35 Suck My Dick—Lil Kim
36 shoop—Salt and Pepper
37 Love Bizarre—Prince & Sheila E.
38 You've Got the Love
39 Emotions (Neptunes Remix)—Destiny's Child
40 Doo Wop (That Thing)—Lauryn Hill
41 Love Me Or Hate Me Remix (Featuring Missy Elliott)—Lady Sovereign
42 Wait (The Whisper Song Girl Version)—Trina
43 Ladies Night—Lil' Kim, Missy Elliot, Angie Martinez, Da Brat
44 Let It Bump—Missy Elliott
45 How Will I Know—Whitney Houston
46 I'm Every Woman—Chaka Kahn
47 Erase You—ESG
48 Bingo (Diplo Mix)—M.I.A.
49 Rhythm Nation—Janet Jackson
50 Independent Woman Part I—Destiny's Child
51 Waterfalls—TLC

download tracks 1-5:

This new years hit me hard

These bruises are still visible ONE WEEK after New Year's Eve.

What is it about the publishing industry that makes it so irresistable?

Over the past week or two, I have been excited to have a whole month away from my current job. I will be back in February, of course, but the idea of a self-directed January is incredibly liberating. I was thinking that after my month in February, I would leave magazines behind me forever.

Today, like a masochistic moron, I scheduled a meeting on New Year's Eve with another publication art directed by a former professor of mine. Why? No idea. I cannot say no to these magazines. I just want my life back, a life that doesn't revolve around closing schedules, but the closer I get to that life, the more the publications pull me back into their clutches. If I do this job, would I actually get the title Art Director on the masthead? Would that make it worth it? No. But why turn down a friendly chat, right?

The Movie of the Week is How Stella Got Her Groove Back

It's always on tv, and we finally watched it last night. I think I am going to get my groove back too. Chris said I could do it whenever I wanted to. I think he is right. If only I was 40, rich, and on vacation in Jamaica. That shower scene is hot but would never translate to our Brooklyn bathroom.