greenpoint summer rox

The best thing about having a blog that nobody reads, besides documenting boring things such as the slow road to recovery from my battle with nicotine addiction, is sharing NOT boring things that are better left unsaid for strategic purposes. Among these: Pio Pio Riko

Pio Pio (that's what we call it for short) is secretly one of the best things about Greenpoint. You can get half a chicken for $3.25, and it's a fucking amazing chicken. And it comes with this mysterious green sauce — we are guessing the ingredients may include, but are not limited to, avocado, lots of black pepper, garlic, cucumber (?) — that you could easily bottle and sell at the Garden if preservatives were added. Last night, after a long day of beaching, I wanted nothing less than Pio Pio. My $8 order of 1/2 chicken and fried sweet plantains will easily comprise three meals. A key component of the insanely huge $21 family combo meal is salchipapas = french fries with sliced hot dogs.

Despite the fact that the Pio Pio chicken sits in my fridge waiting, I joined friends tonight at the actual Pio Pio restaurant for the first time. I have never ventured inside. Roommate #G once recounted a story in which the back room was filled with Latina strippers, and I'd have to say I was put off. Not after tonight my friends. From now on every function I have will be held at Pio Pio.

Spanish-translating friend Christine noted that the neon posterboard sign on the wall of the air-conditioned backroom announced that dances with the waitstaff would cost $2. The bathroom is stocked with hair gel. The backroom has those amazing lights — you know, the kind that can make any night extraordinary — in addition to plenty of dance space, tables ripe for card games, a separate bar, an interior fake roof which rivals that of the back room bar at West Philly local fave Dahlak. Besides that, you can get a jar of beer for $15, or a half-jar for $9. Our five Coronas totaled $17. More good times to be had every weekend I hope, with or without the strippers.