wedding party

It is now Fall and cool and crisp and for no apparent reason I started thinking about weddings. I am lucky enough to have few married or engaged friends so I never go to weddings. But my few memories of weddings are lovely and severe. Every wedding I have ever been to has been held in Pennsylvania. Most every wedding reception has been held in either a fire company or grange - here is a link to what a grange is for those unfamiliar with this terminology. Many of these weddings have a happy / depressing working class Deer Hunter wedding reception vibe (the real fun starts around 3:13 or so):



These weddings generally feature a fuzzy navel fountain, which is a pretty awe-inspiring sight. I remember being very young and being forbidden from drinking fuzzy navels, listening to like Peter Gabriel or Genesis or Huey Lewis and the News or Exposé.

Just now, I was listening to some Tango in the Night-era Fleetwood Mac / late 80's Stevie Nicks and it got me thinking about weddings. Not sure where this association came from. The mind works in mysterious ways.

"Seven Wonders" (Fleetwood Mac)
"Seven Wonders" (dub remix)

Many weddings involve country line dancing, like my cousin's, two summers ago. My cousin and her husband met each other at a country line dancing bar. Their dance-based romance is inspiring.







When I was 13 or so my great-uncle got married in a gazebo on his farm. Since these family members were bluegrass lovers, the wedding processional was fiddled, and the reception featured a pig-roast. Obviously as a young adolescent I was mortified.

The most recent wedding I attended, over a year and a half ago I think, was a friend-of-friend situation. I was a designated emergency date after my friend Daniel's days-fresh breakup. Obviously my date was less than chipper due to his recent heartbreak, but I tried to make the most of it. Since the guy getting married was in a band, his amazing "wedding band" was a real band and they played super-romantic and excellent wedding songs. Everyone danced. The best was when they did "Sea of Love" I thought I was gonna cry. Also the bride / groom dance was to some Van Morrison song, I think off Tupelo Honey. It was right then that I started believing in marriage, maybe for the first time.

side effects of look book making

Aside from the overwhelming desire to not only shop (I have started RSSing the shopping blog Racked) but also read women's magazines like Elle and Glamour, I have discovered an unexpected side effect while attempting to craft my fall look. Everywhere I go, I look at other girls' style and think, oh that girl looks cute. Oh those shoes are hot. Oh that dress is really flattering, etc. I had a fairly insane revelation since I've started checking out girls everywhere:

Male friends of mine talk about how there are cute girls everywhere, how there are an endless supply of attractive and f_able women in NY and they're right. It is really overwhelming. Somehow while performing the most girlish of activities I have finally started to understand some key part of the male psyche. I guess there are cute boys everywhere too but I'd have to say that their fashions are a lot more consistent. And I think that thing about girls dressing for other girls is definitely true.

Back 2 Basics Look Book #1: Long Hair

This season's brand narrative is developing very very slowly. I will have to work it out in installments. It will come together eventually, but for now it's time to revisit some basics: Fall 09 is about long brown hair. But, like, aggressively long, aggressively straight. The hair is brought into the foreground.



Initially I thought that Blue Lagoon-era Brooke Shields would be the bedrock of my summer style if summer 08 could be re-lived. How could this look — tans, long hair, strong brows, white stuff, minimal clothing — possibly transcend summer? After serious discussion, it was decided that the "look" was really just long hair. Everything else was just an accessory crudely used to cover the body. I started looking for other applications of long brown hair as accessory.



In Roman Holiday, Audrey Hepburn pulls back part of the hair to maximum effect. The hair represents her girlhood, and when she cuts it she graduates to young woman.



After watching The Science of Sleep on HBO, I decided that super-straight hair is the way to go. Charlotte Gainsbourg's style is pretty understated. She has a fairly boyish figure, and the straight long brown hair provides a feminine counterpoint.




Sloane Peterson, ultimate babe brunette. Also, note Sloane's white fringe jacket. This may be addressed in a forthcoming installment of this brand narrative.



Obviously, forever and forever.

Fall Preview

Seasons change, people change.



I swear to god, this blog will die soon. It will be replaced by newer, realer, better things that are slightly less vacuous. Until that day comes, Fall 2008 looks like this:

1. "jazz"
2. an extensive analysis of the Scientology-esque Susan Miller talk at the Apple Store
3. fall lookbook
4. an introduction to printing out the internet
5. don't make me over playlist

I can't talk about any of this in detail right now (thanks Caliente Cab Company!) but I figured I'd at least show you the TOC.

This week's Gossip Girl highlights
Apparently this episode is called "Darkness Falls" (it's about a blackout, duh.)
- Chuck, on Serena and Dan getting back together: "Congrats on you and Humphry. Water always finds its own level."
- In the same conversation, Serena to Chuck: “You are not using Blair as sexual Draino.”
- Lastly, the young girls assaulting Dan and Serena in the park, sharing their perspective on the relationship based on the Gossip Girl blog. The girl who's "a Serena". I love this show.

what i've learned from gossip girl season two, so far

After a very long summer, Gossip Girl is back, and my innate need for drama now has an outlet outside of my own life. There was an article in the ny times mag this weekend about Twitter and "ambient awareness" which includes a brief mention of "parasocial" relationships people have with television characters:

"If you’re reading daily updates from hundreds of people about whom they’re dating and whether they’re happy, it might, some critics worry, spread your emotional energy too thin, leaving less for true intimate relationships. Psychologists have long known that people can engage in “parasocial” relationships with fictional characters, like those on TV shows or in books, or with remote celebrities we read about in magazines. Parasocial relationships can use up some of the emotional space in our Dunbar number, crowding out real-life people. "

So, real people, here are my observations of the fictional but strangely pertinent social drama that is Gossip Girl thus far:

- Chuck Bass has a little Christian Slater / "Heathers" in him. They share similarities in facial expressions as well as vocal inflections, if not style choices. J.D.? Are you going to blow up the school this season?

- Also, in episode one, Blair — the fictional Miriam perhaps — unleashes a true girl-to-girl, pep-talk pearl on Serena:
"The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey ... is mourning Dan Humphrey."

Since Gossip Girl became OMFG post-writers strike, Chuck and Blair have morphed from the most despicable to the deepest and most realistic characters. Their love / hate relationship is captivating. We shall see what happens as the lord / dutchess / milf love triangle unfolds.

P.S.: The apology from Blair to the Dutchess: "Dutchess, I'm so sorry about the [insulting] Botox [comment she made]. Your work is flawless."

Also, Astrology Zone live in Soho

Some serious news you can use—
My friend J. R. emailed me this hot tip last night:



Appearance of Susan Miller Next Month: September Apple Store, New York City, SoHo Store Saturday, September 13, 2008 3 PM - 4:30 PM Apple Store in SoHo 103 Prince Street New York City, NY 10012 Apple store in Soho: (212) 226-3126 (ask for Frank)

I will appear in the New York Soho Apple Store with my friend, astrologer / engineer Henry Seltzer who created this superb TimePassages™ astrology software for Mac or PC. This software will allow you to do your natal chart and find out all the planetary positions in place on the date of your birth and what they mean to you. It's fast and easy, written for laymen who are not professional astrologers. No need to look up complicated aspects in astrologic textbooks. Little dialog boxes, balloons, and longer reports pop up to explain all about your chart, as well as about upcoming transits. You can print them out and save them. TimePassages™ Software costs $39 and runs on the Mac (for OS X) and PCs. Join us for a free, interactive session at the Apple Store in SoHo, in New York. We will do the natal charts of those who volunteer in the audience, and even if you don't get chosen to have your chart shown on our big lecture screen, we will take dozens of questions from you. Also, I will stay afterward to say hello to each of you as well. Our appearances are always lively and always more like parties than lectures! For more information on Henry's TimePassages™ software for the Mac or PC, please click on this link: http://www.astrograph.com/purchase/astrologyzone.php

See you all there, seriously.

Notes from Denver, Tuesday

1. Watching the DNC on CSPAN is a totally different experience. You get to see all the speakers, no pundits, the happening tunes. This is serious business: "I'm So Excited" was so breathtaking, all the delegates were really letting loose, lobster hats and all. I really can't recommend this more.

2. Nydia Velazquez (D-NY, Brooklyn 12th District) is awesome—I've never seen her speak before. I am glad I've voted for her in the past few elections.

3. When they introduced Lilly Ledbetter (a plaintiff in a pay equity case in the Supreme Court) from Alabama, the intro was an instrumental version of Madonna's "Lucky Star". Does anyone know why? Following speaker Mark Warner, they played "The Power of Love".

4. Mark Warner is pretty great.

5. I want to go to the Democratic National Convention next year. Without commentary, it's as compelling as, like, the Oscars. I am sad I haven't been paying attention to politics since late in the primaries.

6. I enjoyed Bob Casey Jr.'s Pennsylvania shoutouts (Latrobe, anyone?). I do not enjoy his pro-life politics. He looks exactly like Bob Casey Sr.

7. The caption for Bill Clinton in the lengthy, SNL-referencing, Chelsea Clinton-narrated Hillary intro is "Hillary's Husband".

8. "Are You Gonna Go my Way", "You Really Got Me", "American Girl", "Smooth (Santana and Rob Thomas)".

9. Bill mouthed "he's good" to a neighbor off-screen after Brian Schweitzer's rousing speech. Bill is visibly fired up. Michelle is visibly fired up. Schweitzer may be the next Barack Obama in '12.

10. Deval Patrick strangely reminds me of Mike Bloomberg.

11. This is the best Hillary speech I've ever seen. Bill mouths "I love you" during Hillary's speech. Aw. Oh Hillary, I've missed you. I'm happy to see her again, even though she annoyed me during the last few months of the primaries. Hillary is awesome. I should have voted for her, she is a good leader. She gave the right speech. Finally, a few good McCain take-downs.

12. Do political conventioneers get plus ones?

Daddy's Girl

omfg
this song is really outta control. in preparation for a recent karaoke sessions i randomly downloaded some truck driving music i once heard at my friend j.'s store. check out this serious gem, "daddy's girl" by red sovine.

Basically, it's about a dude wanting a son, but getting a girl instead. but he actually loves her, even though she's a girl! the rousing chorus:

Daddy's Girl, Daddy's Girl,
I'm the center of Daddy's world.
I know I'm Daddy's number one,
For he loves me like I was his son.

He then provides some HILARIOUS anecdotes about tomboyin' with his daddy's girl. fishing! dodgers games! the daughter softens up the dad! finally, the daughter grows up and gets married but will always be a daddy's girl.

DEFINITELY more uplifting than the similar but obviously very different Nirvana classic "Been A Son" ie:
She should have died when she was born
She should have worn the crown of thorns
She should have been a son.

why oh why

- did i dream about buying a Zune at Rite-Aid two nights ago?

- am I unable to stop listening to this amazing and semi-instructional Lil Mo / Lil Kim song from five years ago called "10 Commandments" (link forthcoming here)? In which we get a taste of what "The Rules" would be like if it was written by Lil Kim? Results include "mad trips to Jaca" and your man at home every night, "cooking you a steaka". These are things I never knew I wanted, but I think I clearly do.



- has it taken me so long to realize that watching really good fireworks in a quiet rural place accompanied by the sound of engines revving in the distance is a near-spiritual experience, resulting in a feeling that approximates being touched by god in some way?

Dogs of L.A.

The canyon air is like a breath of fresh L.A.
Liz Phair: "Dogs of L.A."

It is sunny and 77 degrees with 44% humidity. I woke up around 7:15, listened to a few songs from Rumours as I dressed and stretched. I ran along the waterfront in an oversized Harvard t-shirt from a Goodwill in downtown Brooklyn, listening to Lil' Kim sing about Fulton Street. I can now run far, pain-free, with my newfound lung capacity.

I continued my faux L.A. morning post-shower in some weird extreme outfit I decided to inhabit. Black jersey, plunging neckline, strappy sandals, Forever 21 amulet. A red tie-dyed fringed suede bag. Chipped manicured nails, iced coffee, sunglasses. Rachel Zoe Courtney Love Mary-Kate Stevie Nicks Grey Gardens Italian funeral + witchy. I liked it. I looked like I did voodoo or something. For the first time this morning I realized that maybe one day I'll become one of those crazy old Patti Smith type women. There is a certain comfort in looking a little crazy. Based on the looks I was getting, I had to remove most of my accessories by the time I got to my work neighborhood.

In L.A. none of this would seem strange. Hippies, celebrities, Santa Ana winds, Scientologists and cults in general, the piercing sound of perpetual traffic, Chinatown. When I was last there, I saw people walking around Silverlake wearing those hair bands years before they made any appearance whatsoever on our Eastern shores. I once read the book Ask the Dust and I've never thought about L.A. the same way since. A city that had always seemed plastic, past-less, was now grounded in a Depression-era historical reality. It had, in effect, become a real place.

Liz Phair: "Go West"

Liz Phair is from Chicago, but for a period of time she lived in L.A. She won't talk about what she did out there (maybe by now she has). I like the songs on Whip-Smart about L.A. — hazy, sinister, broken, and vaguely lazy-sounding. "Go West" is the best one — about leaving her life and moving to L.A., I think. I highly relate to this song re: my life 2 years ago:

"Take off the parking brake
Go coasting into a different state
And I'm not looking forward to missing you
But I must have something better to do
I've got to tear my life apart
And go west, young man"

When I learned about Manifest Destiny in high school I finally started to understand this song, why people have been starting over ever westward for as long as we can remember. Looking back after my own "Go West" experience — although "west" was just south 2 hours to Philadelphia — I think this is one of my favorite songs of all time. In Escape from New York mode, "Go West," nestled between "Going to California" and "Midnight Train to Georgia," let me believe for a little while that when shit gets rough, maybe fleeing is a viable solution.

Jonasing for a Beating

It's Jonas Bros Week where I work.

Apparently, one should never underestimate the lung capacity of a pre-pubescent female who may, at any minute, catch a glimpse (across the street and through a second-floor window) of her maybe future-husband (at least until the next album). I am on the 37th floor, in the back of the building, and can hear the screaming streaming strong from 10am to 4pm. It's only Day 2 and I am willing to jump off the building if it means they will be silenced.

Also, Jonas Bros (personalities combined) + better haircuts + 10 years in age = my dream man.

Stop Smoking Forever, Week 8

Sunday marks the 8th week of my foray into the nonsmoking lifestyle. A few weeks ago, I went off the patch and it was majorly exciting. These days, quitting smoking has begun to represent not only a physical but also developmental achievement.



My friend F. recently told me that I've always been a "tumultuous" girl, which is hard to argue with. The last few years (actually the last five) have been particularly tumultuous, but things have really quieted down recently. So on some level I've been realizing that perhaps cigarette smoking was one of the few remaining self-destructive behaviors from my youth that I've held onto. There was a time when I was much younger when I didn't associate smoking with recurring financial woes, an accelerated march towards death, poor health and rapid mood swings. As I got older, I realized that I had developed some habits I couldn't control that were acting as a buffer against some of the more positive growth spurts in my life. Maybe, like Ms. Nicks, I have always been a storm, but at some point it becomes an exhausting way to live.

But now this too is under control, one of the last stinging remnants of my formerly messy self. Things are on a seriously positive upswing, and as more and more of the unhealthy thinking and behaviors I've fallen into are eliminated, I am seeing some weird patches of sun through that crazy sky. I think this has been one of the most important decisions I have made, at least in the last year. Overcoming a physical addiction definitely makes most other changes seem more manageable.

Why is Astrology Zone right every time?

How does she know?

"Eclipses open paths, but they also take things away, so if you lost a source of income last February, you may now agree to a new job or deal this month. All eclipses have a second act, and never reveal all at one time. Be patient - something good is coming."

new forms of communication

so that i don't have to repeat myself multiple times a day, i have taken to making little notes that i can use over and over again. one such note that came in quite handy at work today:

you can take me home but i will never be your girl

*Meta-Post Disclaimer: I think I was drunk when I started writing this post two weeks ago on the damaging effects of heavy Liz Phair listening. I no longer have the strength to really get to the point of all this but maybe I'll be inspired later on, after all my tears have dried and my iPod is functional again.*

I may have encountered Liz Phair a little too early on in life. Exile in Guyville came in my BMG mail when I was maybe thirteen, certainly before I had listened to Exile on Main Street and perhaps immediately following the dumping of my first boyfriend ever (who would wtf later date my younger sister for two years). Although kissing with tongue was still somewhat disgusting, I could really get into a song like, say, "Fuck and Run:"

"Whatever happened to a boyfriend
The kind of guy who tries to win you over
and whatever happened to a boyfriend
The kind of guy who makes love cause he's in it
I want a boyfriend
I want all that stupid old shit
Letters and sodas."

At that time I believed, thanks to Liz Phair, 13 or 14 year-old me was wise beyond my years. I could see it pretty clearly: the 14 year old boys were never really going to grow up, and the above scenario laid out my inevitable future. Liz Phair, all monotone and detached, had this cool way of looking at things that bore no resemblance to any of the girls I went to school with. My friend Ryan once compared her to a potato [Note: this was actually Courtney Love, in some random book I read in high school]). She was an uber-girl. She understood things that we didn't.

And so, armed with guitar tab and cassette tapes, Liz Phair became my fucked-up older sister. She sat in the passenger side of my Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme ("Batmobile," J.D. Salinger style: "Fire up the Batmobile / Cause I gotta get outta here / I don't speak the language / and you gave me no real choice / you made me see that my behavior was an opinion") while I did all the stupid things I did in high school. Consequently, I know every word to every Liz Phair song released before 1999. After remembering my obsession last week, I went on a Juvenilia / Exile / Whip-Smart / Whitechocolatespaceegg bender and realized that the memories of every one of those songs are so wrapped up in being 16 or 17 that it was almost unbearable. [Note: last week I reached my saturation point. I listened all day, cried for like 3 hours, and was eventually cheered up by Billy Joel.]

Oh nostalgia rush 1998 Lilith Fair: my best friend and I lied to my parents about staying with friends on Long Beach Island (where we would sleep in my car in some parking lot), obviously not stopping in Camden for the most ridiculous but secretly great concert featuring not just a rare performance by stage-fright-ridden Liz Phair but also Supa Dupa Fly era Missy Elliott.

The potential outcome of all of this — attending Sarah Lawrence — never materialized thank god, but along with my snail mail Matador Records newsletter came plenty of premature emotional baggage. On some level I feel lucky to have had this kind of amazing progression from these interesting and unique female pop culture voices. Sassy folded circa 1994. I would re-read the vaguely feministic articles in back issues while listening to Ms Phair lull me into the commitment-phobic independent daze that has plagued me throughout most of my adult life, a condition afflicting both genders that I have recently identified as The Dude Factor. Her take on the power dynamics of relationships is vulnerable, political, utterly dysfunctional, highly attuned to the emotional workings of the adolescent girl self. Whip-Smart, Track 3: "I don't need a support system"; Track 6: "I don't crack the door too far for anyone who's pushing too hard on me" followed by the haunting refrain "I won't decorate my love"; Track 11: "Just putting your body wherever it seemed like a good idea" ("Jealousy" also awesomely rhymes "He's got a family who deals heroin" with "and you're on the edge of your chair and").